the Uniquity & his Uniquities

Miss

2008-12-19T23:25:00.003+08:00

When i had a bf

# We will try our best to meet each other whenever we can
# We tries our best to make out, to sastify each other whenever we can
# We tries to pick/ accompany each other home whenever we can
# We go to the places we both enjoy always
# We hug and snuggle up to each other on rainy days
# We LoVe each other every day, every moment, every second
# We try our best to not let either of us feel insecure, or neglected

sigh i miss those times when i have a nice bf

i miss those times when i am being LoVed

i am tire of LoVing...

...

Crying

2008-12-15T02:48:00.001+08:00

I am sad, i am crying

and i am listening to sad LoVe song throughout the night,

but do you know?

=(

LoVe Sick

2008-12-15T02:41:00.003+08:00

Just as i thought i found the one, and i am seeing light at the end of the tunnel; i think soon, everything will be back to square one.

Have i not have fate with LoVe?

For once am feeling so defeated, and depressed (once again).

No doubt i never wanted to lose him in anyway, but i would rather see him be happy, rather than stress, in a lifestyle he is not ready for.

I guess this Christmas, and the coming Vday i will be alone again...no big deal i guess.

p.s. deep down my heart, i am drowning in my own sea of tears, i am fine when i told you, but as a matter of fact, i am not fine at all; am all torn apart; the pain, the sadness, and most importantly my unwillingness to let you go. But do i have a choice?.....till Christmas, as promised. Am really praying for the best, for if not, i really duno what will happen to me.....LoVe sick.

...

Christmas!

2008-12-09T01:19:00.002+08:00

All i want for Christmas is my 2 front teeth :P

Than again what i really want is (in merit :P)

1) Him to spend more time with me.

2) Philips LivingColours, white with remote

3) A nice shoulder bag, Porter seems nice :P

4) iPhone 0.O

5) New sofa bed from ikea

6) Quilt and bed sheet sets from ikea 200cm by 200cm

7) World Peace =D

...

Of pop ups and A new song

2008-11-09T17:23:00.004+08:00

Pop-ups are manifesting my blog all out of a sudden -.- Pardon to those who find it a chore >_> i will try my best to clear it!

Anyway, here is a emo song i chance upon! I recall this song was first found on Eggy's blog :P

Anyway a dedication for all those sad emo people out there! Tml will be a better day alrite? Although like me, let the sadness carry on! We will bound to find true happiness one day.

Deary, LoVing you always :P doh we duno what will become of us and things seems really uncertain now. I know baby should be happy and not be bothered abt this rs, but i mean you are someone important to me no? And this jus shows how much i treasure how we work out...

Nonetheless good luck on ya ubin trip! *Hug*Hug*

...

Shop and bleed

2008-11-06T21:14:00.004+08:00

On the happy side. I bought 2 really sexy slim cut casual pants (feels like jeans :P) from g2000 blu today! I <3 Really for teh yuppies ^^

I bought Avene thermal water (really godly, stopped me from getting SKII FTE at least!) and a whole tube of aloe vera gel! Say hellooooo to better skin soon^^

BUT i forgot to buy my Khiel's lip balm, and my lips jus cracked and bleed a little....their lip balm is really good and non greasy? and it has a sweet story behind it.

Sweet story....now, that really makes me more sad ~.` feel like going to rent a sad movie.

oh well

...

Last one

2008-11-06T18:15:00.003+08:00

Sometimes i just have this feeling that...i am the last person that will come to his mind.

Doh, i always place him above everything.

This is LoVe i guess, silly.

I miss those days when my dates are so crazily over me; and i realise sometimes to LoVe is more painful than being LoVed...

Cried

...

Cry spells. Who will see my beauty.

2008-11-02T23:23:00.002+08:00

Cry spells are never my companion since young. When i was still small, i was all confident, took pride in everything i do, voicing out my every point of view, and making sure my prescence always mattered.

I was a pure breed Leo, and a top management kind.

But as i grew up, this Leo seems to have lost his shine.

Cry spells are my companion now; also as insecurity and the feeling of lost and empty. Yes as i pen down this entry, tears flowed down my cheeks, as if children were ridding down the snowhills on sledge. Happy a picture it seems, deep down am torn crazily apart, as of the stakes which my limbs are tattered to, are suddenly pulled in 4 opposing directions by flame breathing hell horses.

Who can actually be by me, to see the beauty i hold? Who can actually comprehend that the tears i shed equates to that of an Angel's? Who can match, that whenever it rains, it is because i cried? Who can be the one whom i can draw strength from, giving me the security, and filling me up?

To who that is, he will find that treasure i have long set aside for that destined one. To who, this person shall be?

Till than, i lie in the pool of my tears, drowning, feeling the pain, but not dying, for i deserve to be tormented over and over again. Come take my soul, i wont even resist. Not even the slightest.

...

My ChildHood LoVe Model, Those Rights, and A Song For You

2008-10-30T21:24:00.007+08:00

After so many failed rs, it somehow appeared to me that my LoVe Model was rather childhoodly, and fairy tale like. Those promises that couples make, the sweet words and holding of hands, the swinging of the locked pinkies, those smiles, those sweet kisses, those sweet nose rubbing.

Momentary and transient they are always there in a rs, but alas how many actually see through to a till-hair-grows-white-all-that-matters-in-my-World-is-you kind of rs? Whenever i sucked out (or we both sucked out; i mean a rs is always about 2 person no?) in a rs, i will feel down. But thereafter, i would look at my parents; for they really give me inspiration about monogamy, being together till we age, and my World has only you, kind of imagery.

However, it was somehow resonated to me that, perhaps a decade ago, all the above were still possible. Now, i would dare, dream on.

Looking at how my close friends have their rs, mine was really fairy tale, and childhood like in comparison. I mean who would be so concerned with sms-ing each other every morning, everytime it is meal time, everytime when one gets home, and simply, everytime when one misses the other so madly?

I do, it is all about symbolizing the wanting to live together, wanting to grow old together.

Sweet memories, will always be memories. Now that i see you all stressed up, and bothered, i know i no longer have the right. I have lost the right to be by you, i have lost the rights to take care of You (not that you cant take care of yourself, but i mean it is something i really wanna do), i have lost the rights to remain faithful, and monogamous for you.

Rights in a relationship; when one decides to cut his end, unknowingly, he cuts the end that does not belong to him; and also he never realise that that end he cut, was once so dear to him...

Tears, alot of tears have been shed. But remember all that i have msged/ tell you in person? All that matters is to see you happy, and that, be it if am the one making you happy, or if am physically there sharing your happiness; so long i can see you smiling from afar, i would be happy too.

Anyway, here a song for you, not sure if it is all correct, but the melancholy depicts me.

...

I wonder.

2008-10-11T01:22:00.002+08:00

Lamby, i wonder if you ever drop by here and read.

Feeling kinda of uneasy right now, just like a beacon lost in the vast grey sea.
Oh well.
Lost.

Anyway, read some facts abt gay/ les teens are 6 times more likely to commit suicide as compared to straight teens. Teenager can really get lost when they are in the process of growing up, finding out who they are, and who they wanna be. What makes it worst for GLBT teens is that they have got no good role model to refer too.

Go google Mr Otto's Fong hoo-ha and his coming out as a gay adult; what can be worst, he is a top notch teacher at a prestigous school in SG. Jus a quick google, you will see all sort of crap thrown at him, he was even asked to shut down his blog.

GLBT or not, does it equate to that they cant contribute to your society and economy? If they are as useful as of a straight citizen, than why the discrimination? What abt equality? What abt justice? The pledge stanza?

Oh yea, GLBT are the minority, since the majority cant accept them, the country shant try to force it through getting the majority to accept it.

1) Well i am chinese, i have some slight dislike for the malays, indians, and the foreign people, and we chinese are the majority, so yea lets get rid of all the 'others' (this is jus a casual statement that is totally theory and of no pratical/ usable value, please do not charge me under ISA or anything else LOL, it is jus a lament of the system we have).

2) Aint we Sg-reans VERY scare of fines and laws? For those who are not tolerant enough to accept homosexuality, well, FINE them la! Or best send them to social reform camp!

3) After reading the first 2 point, do you find me irritating, and yea rather the GLBT should be rounded up and drowned? Well, if you feel so, this is exactly the stress and pressure you guys are putting us under ~.~>

GLBT teens are dying, this is happening, are you truly happy now?

No offence, but i recalled a non-acceptance of homosexuality explanation by a Christian friend. So having said that, it is ok that these GLBT teens jus die? Ironic.

=)

Insecure.

2008-10-01T22:54:00.003+08:00

Trust is a golden promise. Trust is something that money may not be able to buy. Trust is a exclusive, elusive thing; something that is conceptual to some, while to others it is in a form and an exact definition can be assigned to it.

Perhaps it was scars and emotion from the past; i just cant seem to trust anyone.

Insecure i am, i guess there is only me whom i can blame?

I cant expect much from anyone. Afterall we are not married, afterall there aint a pact to which how things are now. There is no promise that he ought to hold up to me. Though, i am silently already holding up my promises to him, deep down, promises and rules that i have set for myself, for you in this relationship that we share.

Sigh, emo. Outz

Simple Life

2008-09-14T01:19:00.003+08:00

Life have been pretty mundane lately. Work -> there goes the weekdays -> jus before i can rejoice the weekends are nearing -> there comes the weekdays again. In between, of course, jap class, and feeling tire 24/7. I have been so busy that i dun even have the time to bake or cook, or go ard this little island to take photos (and yes there are alot of good spots i happened to chance upon).

Life for me have bus stopped (yes i LoVe bus rides) at the point where i find it is pretty pointless? Work hard -> shopping -> keep ppl alive -> money, money and money.

Was feeling so tire, and emo today, that i actually took my time to have my mushroom swiss at burger king after jap class today. Slowy enjoying my giant cup of coke thereafter, and rounding up my Murakami. Left the restaurant as the air con gets too cold, walked to the near by park, and i plunged my butt to the nearest, clean bench.

I actually stoned for like a good 20 minutes? I was tire, and at the same time i want to finish my book. Whatmore, the air was warm, not humid, jus warm and comfortable; as if someone dear was hugging you. Did not really wanna head home, for i find home to be a tiring place?

Wanted to just head off to town, look for a cafe with a big comfy couch, so that i can soak up the comfy warmth, and finish my book. Primarily, my intentions were to hang around and wait for Dino to finish his db, so we can spend some time together; since we dun get to spend alot of time together.

But alas i guess he will be with his mates after db ba. Shrugs, zombie-slug off to a nearby cafe, and manage to kill of that Murakami.

Travelled home. Tire, feeling feverish.

Here blogging, emo, blank, feverish.

...

Heya!

2008-09-09T14:23:00.006+08:00

Firstly, i have to salute Mr Ho Kwon Ping on his headlines making article revolving around the topic calling for recognition of homosexuality in Singapore's society.

Go read the article; the short jest of the article talks about how the Singapore's Law does not criminalise/ prosecute homosexuality, and if that, why doesn't she call for her society to give recognition to this group of people? This is a outright mockery of her, and the law her citizens have created.

I was really shocked when i saw this article on the front page of Today newspaper (Monday, 08 Sep 2008). It is really shocking as which editor would be so stupid to allow such an article to be posted? Remember the media law that censors all form of projection, encouraging homosexual lifestyle? Mr Ho and the editors have got guts.

Than again, if you look closely, Mr Ho is not just anyone. He is the the Chairman of SMU, Exe Chairman of Banyan Trees Holdings, and Chairman of Mediacorp. He not only have got the guts, but he definitely have got the influence and power ~.~!!!

Anyway, if you peeps are bored, pick up a copy of Today (Tuesday 09 Sep 2008), and look at the voices section. Pretty interesting debates over the article by Mr Ho.

Imho i really feel nothing is wrong with being GLBT or not, it is just another choice/ selection in life. Than of course, those sissy, bitchy, loud, noisy homos, are not to spared. BUT those are personality, and that, they fail critically as an individual.

I recall the times when me and my ex bf held hands in the public, and kissed on the train. Big deal. Imagine the whole World is GLBT, being straight will naturally be the outcast, and crime LOL

OH OH OH I BOUGHT A NEW PHONE =D GOT TIME THAN I POST LET YOU ALL SEE ^^

...

Donut

2008-09-01T09:41:00.003+08:00

Donuts
"...Jus a plain o hole..."
"...Or was it a entity as a whole?..."

Have you guys ever considered the hole in the donut is simply a hole, or was it a entity as a whole; part of the donut?

" I looked at the donut i am having for breakfast, a sudden emptiness grew from within. Alas i know i will never feel empty, for i know you are here to fill me up, likewise i will do the very same..."

Food for thought :P I once read somewhere, donuts are always sweet =D be it taste, or used as part of a emo writing.

...

Moody Sunday

2008-08-31T19:10:00.002+08:00

Many have happened over the week.

People come and go; and i can already sense who is leaving my side, and whoever is not going to stay very long either. Yes my life is sad, my social circle is pathetic; it is full of leavers and will-leave-someday-leavers.

Shrugs, i am not a social creature to begin with; not that i am a loner, but rather i am not good at making friends. Hence those faithful few (i really mean few) who stood by me, they really saw the gem in me? lol

Relationship; and yea, relationship again! This very moment, i am still feeling very lost. Yes i cant seem to find a direction, and that-light-which-always-shine-upon-one's-path seems to have blown, or short circuited for that matter.

Why do we need to be in a rs for?
IMHO, i just want to have someone whom i can share alot of my time with (say am possesive? prolly yes in a way; but alas it is hard for me to trust and feel secure anymore, and what is wrong to want to live tgt?) and build a meaningful life with. Hang out often together, meet my folks, meet my frens, and possibly live together?

Me?
After all those nightmares i have had, it is hard for me to entrust my life/ all of my LoVe to anyone anymore. Ouch! That sounds painful, but alas, i dun want to break down again; pardon me for being selfish. I have to be defensive here, for those who know me/ have been with me before, when am in LoVe, i will go the extra mile and put in my all for my other half.

At this moment, i am trying very hard to stay happy, and stay positive. All i wish for is that i can feel more secured, and contented. What is so difficult to give my all to my other half after all? :P

...

I HAVE GOT NO TIME!

2008-08-25T17:00:00.002+08:00

I really need to do some lifestyle and financial planning soon this weekend.

Lately i found myself feeling all tire and tied down with things. It felt as if i was forced through a bottle neck.

Weekend seems to pass by so fast out of a sudden! This is so not like when i was in army; fridays usually end early for me, leaving me with a long-nothing-to-do-weekend.

Nowadays i end work at 6pm on fridays, rush to jap class which ends at 830pm, get home by 930pm, rest a little and before i can start gaming or read my Murakamis' it is already 11+pm! Beauty sleep!

The same goes-GONE for saturday: wake up late, go out with friends, hang ard the house with my parents, pop by guild war, finally beauty sleep.

Weekdays are big time goner! I will usually get home by 7pm, after dinner it is ard 745pm, than i have to walk ardthe house doing nothing (doh i try to do some pumps) so jus to aid with the digestion, 8+pm soon kicks in, and i see myself finally being able to have some leisure time gaming or jus doing some random surfing. 9+pm soon arrives, as i starts doing my work (FUCK K! I DUN BELIEVE IN BRINGING WORK HOME PCB). By the time i round things up and make my bed, it is all 11pm. I have just enough time to read my books; but i have got not enuf time to GAME MORE or search up the words i have extracted from the books.

Oh wait did i left out the exercise part?

Yeah i have not been working out lately except for that few set of pumps daily; my knee is feeling strange and i suspect a degeneration of the cushion tissue in between. Going to the doc once i get my pay =D

Sianz

...

Magic!

2008-08-20T20:28:00.004+08:00

Just a not not blog-for-the-sake-of-blogging-blog entry =D

Work have been busy lately, and conducting workshop for kids can be fun, and tiring at the same time. Been to a girls school today >_> omg it is really tiring! Somehow, girls are more inquisite compared to boys, and they are also more attention seeking. Tire tire tire!

And and and! If you ever considered proposing to me, try using the following in place of a ring; sure gives you a higher chance putting you on the road to success!

Presenting the Philips LivingColors =D (the picture links you to the Philips LivingColors webby)

I Heart <3 it! Retailing at $248 btw -.- It is the perfect house decore; imagine being able to generate up to 16 million different color to light up your room! You dun always have to use fixtures, furniture, etc to fill up a room, have a taste of the power of soft ambience light!

p.s the light uses LED, hence you can keep it on for hours without the lamp warming up (doesnt warm up room) and without it burning a hole in your pocket!

It is a must get for me when i get attached =D Imagine switching to a color that fits the mood :P

*blush*

...

Irating

2008-08-18T10:01:00.005+08:00

I really hate travelling on public transport. One can never fail in getting his shirt all crumpled and messed up from all that squeezing and falling, as the trains/ buses brakes, or moves. I urge all company to lower their expectation on staff turn out, or provide a iron (slower and more hassle)/ steamer (faster and easier) at the workplace.

Really all fault should be pointed towards the service provider; for their constant want to hike prices, yet provision of a lousy service.

"Please move in! Please move to the back, there are people wanting to board"

"Please move towards the center of the car..."

"Singaporeans should take more public transport..."

Does the above resonates in your head from time to time? Well you are not imaginating, but such ridiculous and irresponsible lines are broadcasted everyday.

From the shouting of the bus/ tram operator, to the posters and broadcast you see at stations; this is a irresponsible propaganda! #$@$%#$%

How do you move to the rear, when the bus is already packed? HAVE THE BUS COMPANY NOT CONSIDERED ABOUT SAFETY AND THE SAFETY MAXLOAD OF A BUS? I know there ought to be a humane factor that everyone is rushing to work, but wat abt safety? Does it always have to be too late before anyone is concerned with the safety maxload of a bus?

*Bus overloading can result in stampede and domino falling effect of passenger if let say the bus undergoes e brakes, or at time a normal brake is sufficient. As much as the government are advocating use of seat belts, road safety, etc. Have they not consider this also? Imagine the amount of people who is gonna fly out of the bus during a e brake.

Same applies to the tram, overloading can lead to track deformity, and a possible derail? Am not a engineer to decide, but recall the track deformity on a overloaded LRT tram back than? Nonetheless overloading simply equates to danger during braking/ accleration.

Weeeee here come the government campaign to utilize the public transport more! Good strategy, and for a green-earthner like me, i would go for it! But how too? When the public transport system is so sucky? To be stuck in a human jam on the tram/ buses, i rather be late for work and getting stuck on the road, in a comfy car environment. The very least i dun have to smell those smelly heads who are shorter than me, nor do i have to be rubbed by strange personality on the train. ~.~ ALSO HOW COME I DUN SEE THE PUBLIC POLITICS FIGURES TAKING PUBLIC TRANSPORT? Say national security? Eh than how come taiwan politician Mr Ma Ying Jiu and his family can handle all that? Tell me Taiwan is safer than sg? Sg is not confident of the high security she booast and claims to her citizen? Really worth a laugh.

So yea, dun push everything to public/ social graciousness everytime. If you guys fail in doing something, dun simply just push every fault to ya citizen/ end users.

And above mention is just my 2 cent worth as a responsible citizen, point out what may be overlooked. I have always LoVe the PAP for the way they made Singapore to be successful, and never do i want to see it dissapoint the citizens in any aspect, hence this entry.

p.s trains and buses ought to install more handrails and grab-poles if they want to continue broadcasting the message to grab on to the handrails and hand grips.

p.s this is not a serious post! WHY SO SERIOUS? :P

...

Short Notes

2008-08-12T17:15:00.004+08:00

Why is cream cracker always associated with some degree of poorness, poor-thing, obliged to give sympathy, etc?

I was eating my cream cracker with milo (that makes it doubly worst) at my cubical today, and a passing by colleague exclaimed: "aiyo, you want oreo or thong guan or not? Eat cream cracker, so poorthing!"

I was like..........yeach exactly; speechless.

In my usual tone (which i mean when at home or with friends): "narbei! Cream cracker very poor thing meh? My cream cracker got SUGAR coating one okay...atas de hor!"

In my office tone: "oh so very nice of you, am doing fine with my crackers, arigatou."

~.~!!!

For a long time, no one was ever sweet to me.

Moodless.

...

Random Notes

2008-08-11T08:58:00.003+08:00

During lunch with parents...
(in our sg cantonese)

Dad: woooooo look at the papaya and watermelon in the fridge, it is sooooooo red!

Mum: aiya, it is because of the flourescent lights ma.

Dad: no la! They must have sprayed it with some fruit coloring b4 display.

Me: NO LA! They must have got a shi fu to kai-guang before displaying!

Dad & MuM: -.-!

This morning walking to office...

Mrs Chew: Good morning WC! Had ya breakfast?

Me: Hey! Good morning ? Mrs Chew! *waving my papaya milkshake proudly* This is my breakfast!

Mrs Chew: Sure looks healthy, but filling ma?

Me: Can la, it is very nutritious you know...

*Note to self
I can vividly recall few years back when i heard some DJ mention that to fill one's tummy in a healthy way, eating 70% full is equivalant to a full tummy. There is no need to gorge to 100% for it will be unhealthy for one's gastrointestinal tract to handle.

Yeah, healthy is the way. Instead of the nonsensical downing nauseau causing food in the morning (all the oily noodles, and fried stuff, even porridge is oily nowadays), why not just go for a fruit milkshake?

Sure packs a punch, and yea detox to your body!

OH! My FAM turned out really great! Ok i finally do trust leaving the FAM in the fridge for a night, for the flavour to develop, prior to serving.

...

French Almond Macaroons

2008-08-10T20:24:00.005+08:00

Say what am i up to again this time round?

*Drum rolllllll* Presenting the French Almond Macaroons(FAM)!

This is a rather difficult pastry to make; and considering this is my first attempt, the result was sastifactory. I will not recommend this to any cooking-is-a-arse-thing man to attempt this dish, unless you are dying to make a Vday/ Bdae/ Anniversary present to impress your spouse =P

French Almond Macaroon Intro:
Traditional french pastry, making use of a meringue batter and later a infusion of ground almond (blanch). The former gives the pastry a cloudy light texture upon baking, whilst the latter gives it is aroma and chewiness!

2 macaroon biscuit sandwiching a layer of usually butter-cream, or a ganache!

p.s you can use meringue to ice cakes, or make marshmallow!

p.s also, because of the traditional and french part, and the fact this pastry can only be hand made, this explains the exorbitant price you see in pastry shop. Food for thought, the ingredients are ridiculously cheap, but SKILL! Pay for the SKILL!

Cinnamon Chocolate Ganache FAM

Look! The moist chewy interior!

The biscuits, not perfect doh, no feet T.T

Haha nipples >_> i forgot to smooth them b4 baking!

Did the cinnamon flavour this time round; since am a little cranky over cinnamon lately!

Thy shall attempt to try other flavour! =D

...

Blank

2008-08-08T23:01:00.005+08:00

Whenever i think of beauty
i can only think of you
Like many of the roses in the garden
But you appealed to me
In ways others cant

I am all attracted to you
I am all willing to give my all to you
I want only you
And i believe you know it

Here goes the nights
When i had the sweetest dreams about us
How i wish
How i wish i will never wake up

To be trapped in dream
Happy with you
That is jus how little i ask for

In the future World i see
I only see you and me
And you know it
I just want you

Day and night
I thought of you

Hours
Minutes
Seconds
I thought of you

I am not bragging
But this is just how important you are to me
I just want to let you know
You are always on my mind
.
.
.
.
I looked forward
Forward to the day when i can live with you

You and me
Two of us
A tire Hubby back from work
A LoVing Wifey
Arms outstretch
Dinner piping hot
The bath water running warm

Hug

Jus for you

...

New Writing Style (oh no, too much adult fiction not)

2008-08-04T14:09:00.004+08:00

Say, am into reading The Naked Truth (Erin McCarthy, Donna Kauffman, Beverly Brandt, Alesia Holliday) and Haruki Murakami lately. Yes they are no less adult fiction, and please do not overlook the humorous way of writing, and do overlook those short, non-imaginative sexual scenes.

After all that reading.

There are things to relationships that i can never forget, or at least to hell with out of my mind. Afterall i am out to this circle with one glamorous, and one utmost romantic, and sexy only in bed :P bf (he was too cute and boyish in looks wise). But no matter what, after all these while of rushing through chapters of steamy yet romantic happy ending adult fiction (they are always oh-so-happy-.-), i cant help but sigh to the fact/ fate of my singularity. As much as i am a undergarment dampen (from fellow cute sexy faithful guys of course) cute eccentric little boy yearning for someone nice and fitting to share my life with, i can only look for my contentment in other indulgance and appreciations.

French macarons, spahgetti, fashion my way, art, cute and random cartoon design.

How i wish there is someone i can make my Grand Gesture to, and yeah share the spur of my career, family life, and my life with.

Ironies of life.

Oh my english jus got better. Sexy! I can bed, and i can read!!!

...

Recollection, not :P

2008-07-31T03:13:00.004+08:00

3 hours into the morning, the emptiness in my stomach made me jump out of bed thinking that i need a pasta. There i was in the kitchen, breaking the pasta pack, and boiling the pasta to al dente. Fished out 2 piece of jap chicken from the untouched pack which Daddy was suppose to FRY :P, than a piece of suisse leg ham from Mum's gourmet collection, followed by 1 sausage, 2 sausage; as i dump the idea of how late it was, and embrace how EARLY it is :P MORE FOOD!

The pasta boiling to al dente, whilst i sliced up the meat. Not forgetting to dice some tomato, i pondered the real bad of eating too much processed meat. Than again, you cant possibly be eating fresh meat everytime rite? It is so much of a hassle to make (marinate), and not forgetting how EARLY, not, it is!

Stirred fried everything, a dash of pepper, 2 pinch of salt, and a tablespoon full of sunflower nuts.
I LoVe the light tasting pasta! And as i am half way through it, my stomach wondered if all was enough!

Mundane-ness!

Lately one would see alot of color in my blog; red, pink, moroon, colors that are not my main stream. Perhaps this indicates my lvl of happiness! And yes i am happy lately! It is great hanging out with my gals and talking into our future of living together, or visiting places together more often, and also the couple outing; so for us to judge each other's bf! haha

Fun hanging out, i felt depressed as my bank gets zero-ed >_> Terry San! If you read this, please offer me a loan, and i will pay you back when i get my pay :P You know i wont open my mouth and ask you for a loan :P haha

And yea, am starting work on Tues, and i cant wait to get my pay already ~.~

Recollection

Rather happy with myself this past year. Although there isnt much one can achieve in army, alas am happy with getting the outstanding grade, and making a good boss-friend. Give-a-pat-on-thy-self shoulder for the recycling point i have set up for my storey, and revamping my room, and being closer with my family!

Relationship wise, it is really like threading in deep waters? I really cant see a future, and i really duno what is gonna happen soon. I have a career to develop, and worst off, i dun feel swept off my feet. Am i wasting not jus my time, but other's time also? This is something i ought to ponder more i guess. I can say, a cornor of my brain is constanting challenging itself to balance off the pros and the cons. Oh well.....

Alrite it is late, i have to go to bed; having to wake up early tml to sign the agreement. Ciao!

...

Photos!

2008-07-29T23:13:00.004+08:00

Here are some collective photos taken over the weekends. I can see my collection piling up :P Enjoy! and Envy the power of FETEN hehe.

And and, my Bdae is less than 1 hour! and yea i remembers it for once lol!

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Another Lunchie Recipe!

2008-07-28T17:28:00.004+08:00

"Whenever i make lunch, i will try to cramp in as much nutrients, ease, and definitely the encouragement on the use of less utensil -.-, salt, and anything else that hurts..."

Today's lunchie consist of Nutty Toma Pasta (adding of crushed nuts to pasta is a whole new trend, and direction!), and a simple side Pig Cheat A Chix Hush Puppies.

Review: Protein packed, jus the right carbo, eat your greens, crunchy, doh slightly oily (considering i dun use even a drop of oil when using my fave Tefal!)

The Eats!

Nutty Toma Pasta

Hush Puppies!

Ingredients
Nutty Toma Pasta
1 packet of Sunflower/ Macadaemia/ Cashew Nuts ($0.55/ $2.00/ $1.60)
1 Firm Large Tomato diced (get from wet market? $0.30)
Enough pasta (a packet last 2 for 2-3 days. $2.10)
Salt and Pepper/ Dried Herbs like oregano
1 tablespn EVOO

Hush Puppies
1 Slice Cheese (optional, and again any cheese goes!)
1 Slice of Bread (any left over, with brown parts removed, i used raisin bread and it rocked >_>)
1 packet of Chicken Biscuit, choose ya prefered flavour (would last for few use. $2.00)
200gm Minced Meat (pork/ chicken. $2.00)
1 Egg
1 tablespn Potato/ Tapioca Starch Powder
Pepper/ Dried Herbs
1 tablespn EVOO
2 tablespn water

1) Set pasta (break up into 3 segment to accomodate cooking in small bowl; less washing) in bowl, add generous sprinkle of salt, pepper/ oregano, and a dash of olive oil, and of course enough water -.- (so long it wont over flow when boil, and it BATHs the pasta well).

2) Cook on high heat till boil, and bring down the heat to medium. General rule of thumb, a further cooking of 7-10 mins would cook ya pasta; alternatively periodically fish out a few strand and test. Once cooked drain using a seive and leave aside.

3) Crush the nuts coarsely using the back of a chopper/ meat tenderiser. Always use a small plastic bag to avoid flying nuts! Alternatively use a mortar/ food processer, doh you gotta wash later :P

4) WHILST ya pasta cooks, rinse out ya meat with water and drain all liquid. Crumble in ya bread (tear to small pieces), water, add in starch, EVOO, dash of pepper/ herbs, cheese, and mix with meat.

*ALWAYS wash your meat! The bread and water is the secret to making hush puppies so juicy on the inside!

5) Beat the egg, and also crush the chix biscuit coarsely (see point 3).

6) Prepare a spare plate lay with aluminium foil (sure save the washing later). Pinch out the meat mixture to form meat balls (try to even out, any spare bits can be stir fried with ya pasta later, dun waste!). Than roll the meat balls 1 by 1 in the beaten eggs, than coat with chix biscuit, than eggs again, than finally the biscuit. Press into pattie (should be 1cm thick) and leave on plate.

*I always use foil, for they are cheap compared to the amt of soap and water you use for washing later. For Gaia i wipe the used foil clean with scrap newspaper, and stuff them into drink cans i send for recycling.

7) Once the pattie are finished, medium heat enough EVOO in a deep non-stick wok. The EVOO should jus cover the base (shallow fry and not deep fry).

8) Gently slide pattie in wok and shallow fry till both sides are golden brown. Takes ard 2mins per side.

9) Once all pattie/ now hush puppies are done. Discard the remaining oil, and use a kitchen towel dashed with some fresh EVOO and wipe down the wok (you dun have to wash or use a new wok -.-). Sautee the diced tomato gently (ard 30sec) and add in the pasta. Stir fry for another 1min (you jus want to heat it up again, and get some EVOO gloss from the wok).

10) Mix in the nut, and dash of salt and pepper to taste.

11) Serve and eat!

...

What i am up to!

2008-07-27T23:04:00.003+08:00

Am currently in the process of coming up with my photo portfolio! I guess it is time to start filtering out the photos i have had, and portfolio those arty ones, and those really nice one :P

I always dream setting up a heritage cornor when i have my own house, setting up a cornor to display the things i take pride in!

Okai, i have gotta plan out my week! Apart from waiting, and waiting, i ought to be mega proactive in job hunting, and also paint my table plank, and start drawing murals on it. Also it is time to get my herbs growing ~.~>

Money money money, time time time, 2 most critical thing in this world at the moment! For those who want to give me these, am most welcome!

Oh! My Bdae is just round the cornor....i sort of forgot abt it totally! I can recall the shocked feeling whenever i look at the calender; inside me, i will gasp! and ask myself, if i actually did pass my Bdae without realising... lol

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Thoughts

2008-07-25T21:22:00.002+08:00

Alot been going through my mind lately. Unsure of how to put them into proper sentence; geez am really getting senile, and perhaps one day i will not remember how to converse and communicate.

Browsing throught recruit, job webby, and poking friends to introduce me jobs. Many, including my parents, asked: "what is with the rush?" Alas, i take faith in getting a headache from having too much option to choose from, than having nothing to choose from!

Not exactly sure if bio is something i want to continue into, retail and sales seems fun, whilst education officer seems even more ideal! Tsk tsk, i believe nothing beats flying doh :P

I jus wish i can earn the bucks soon, no doubt having to join in the rat race ~.~

Relationship. Blank and numb, i am not sure if it is any good that i do not find things progressing. I have had enough of hiding and feeling tire, and hence no restriction in writting here.

Objectives for the day have to be met, means they have to be met. If you delay something by a minute, you delay everything by 1 minute. That you ought to result in the delay of somebody's work by a minute, and on and on.

Every other thing can wait...

Tire, sometimes i jus have this feeling that no one is ever so worried abt me not getting a job, or not concerned over the things i have worries for. Selfish they are? Wanting to sastify what they desire first? Ungentlemenly. Disgusted.

Nothing is ideal for me right now. Tire out.

...

Vexed

2008-07-20T01:41:00.003+08:00

当我最不开心时
我反而较了解简单的幸福
知足常乐

爸妈
我很爱你们
只想赚很多的钱
让你们过好日子

老天
请你做做好心吧
让我愿想成真吧

When i feel i am at the lowest point of my life
I find myself appreciating simple matters simple happiness more
We all ought to count our blessings and embrace the good that we have

Daddy & Mummy
I really LoVe you all
Really wanna make loads of cash to give you guys a good life
Sorry if we do quarrel these days

Whoever is up there
Although i have never took faith and pray to you
Please answer my wish
Let my dreams come through

lost

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Unhappy

2008-07-19T19:34:00.003+08:00

Feeling really sad/ dissapointed/ moody.

Feeling empty, and uncontented.

I know i can do it, but not given the chance.

Feeling messed up, but i will not give up.

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Life Is Mundane?

2008-07-13T22:22:00.007+08:00

I can still recall the good old times when my ex and i celebrated each other's Bdae. Somehow when we were younger, we made Bdae seems like it is the biggest event in one's life ever! Sorry mate, you celebrates it every year -.-

The roses, that perfect gift that i have always yearned for (and yea no gift can ever be perfect! :P), the memorable dinner, that holding of hands, the Bdae song, and the countdown.

Somehow as people age, Bdae becomes mundane doesn't it? Speaking from what i have experienced this week, celebrating KH Bdae, and seeing how Terry San celebrates Chris San Bdae; subtlely i saw my Bdae celebration when i am all old and grey.

Jus a simple gift, a simple meal, a simple hug, a simple card. What is more impt is the thought and intention, blessing and sincerity that comes with it isn't it?

Arcanic i am, life is pretty much a string of mundane chores. We live for we want to earn money, and we want to earn money because we want to survive. Like what a food stall owner would put it: "our mouth stops as our hands stops, we have got mouths to feed not back home! But right here at the stall, we have to first feed ourselves..."

Vexed i am, my heart, my soul and my mind lost steer of this cast. I am ORD-ing i should be happy shouldn't i? Alas am vexed by what i really want to do when i am a civilian once again.

Family is screwed up at the moment, and i am pretty sure the only way to make it right is money. Not that we are money minded, but i strongly believes that my parents had have enough hardship, and i want to give them a better life. I only hope that my Brother wakes up his idea soon, and help me alongside =D *grabs a baseball bat*

LoVe seems ideal, but nothing is sure for now. Trust is a gem of mine, to LoVe someone ever again, it would take a great deal of effort, personal space, and understanding. Afterall i am a beacon lost in this great abyss wandering alone for eons.

Bleahz Fero is feeling confused, signing out =D

...

Who say man can't PIE!

2008-07-08T00:47:00.004+08:00

Here is a quick pie i made for dinner; what can one do when Mum goes on strike?

This is a quick 1 dish meal that is balanced, and packed with carbo and protein, and of course our eat-ya-greens! This pie that i made consists of hotdogs, parma hams, tuna, tomatoes, and onions! It is than topped with a bread crust, in substitution of the conventional pastry (which is kinda expensive for ready made ones/ hell lots of trouble to self made). Nonetheless the bread crust is no less-crisp than the conventional pastry, and you can customize them to become a side dish! Go garlic + oregano bread ^_^

Oh! This recipe has no added oil, since Tefal non-stick pan rock the world! Nonetheless if you need oil, a dash of oilve oil is good enough, simply becos this dish requires a little stewing; water based cooking that needs very little to no oil.

This time round i will put up a random recipe? Since i made this pie out of left over meat from yesternite dinner T.T (so poor thing hor?)!

Pie

Macro =P

Steam la!

Man can Pie
Non-stick pan
Baking dish
300g minced meat/ meat cubes (you can go for any kind of meat really; even in combinations!)
1 carrot (skinned, diced!)
2 medium sized tomato (with seeds and viscous jelly removed, and diced, with skin on!)
1 medium sized onion (skinned, and diced/ sliced!)
Salt (enough to taste!)
Pepper (enough to taste!)
Water (enough for a simmer; so long the water is able to contact all food particles!)

Bread crust
2 slice white bread (skinned, and cut into approx 2cm strips!)
Butter/ oilve oil (enough to spread)
1 clove garlic (finely chopped)
Oregano (dried/ fresh to taste)

1) Sautee tomato and onion, and carrot, in pan till tomato softens, and the juices leaks out from the greens.

2) Add in the meat, and sautee till they are slightly brown.

3) Add salt and pepper to taste, oregano is optional.

4) Add in water and bring the mixture to boil, than immediately bring down the flame to simmer.

5) Simmer till the mixture is reduced, achieving a gravy like texture.

6) Whilst simmering spread a thin layer of butter (jus a little will do, it is for browning and crisping of bread) on each strip of bread, and spread on garlic and oregano!

7) Put mixture into baking dish, and lay bread crust on top. Bake at 200 degree celcius till bread crust turns golden brown.

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8Recycling Effort ^_^!

2008-07-06T18:03:00.002+08:00

8REcycling Effort^_^!

The bins!

Bins Bins!

The message^_^

Papers!

Glass/ Plastic!

Aluminum Can!

Jus less than 24 hours! Good results^^!

In just less than 24 hours, we collected roughly about 6kg of paper, 0.5kg of plastic, and a handful of miscellaneous items! That is some good result! And a good amount of items recycled from just one level of a block! Now, imagine the effort coming from one whole block?

Quick Facts!

This effort is non government; it is solely a public initiative of level 8 @ Blk 484C.
This effort is not profit based; hence saying, if any of the items are sold to interested Rag-&-Bone / Garung Guni Man, the petty cash earned will be converted to chocolates or sweets to be shared with the entire level ^_^.
The collection point will be cleared as soon as it is somewhat half-full! Hence there is nothing to worry about cluttering and fire hazard/ obstruction.
The amount of items collected will be recorded, and will update all neighbours on a bi weekly basis.

Some Concerns!
Who sponsored all the bins?
No one actually, Mother Earth/ Gaia did! They jus appeared overnight, appealing to owners of level 8 to join in the 8Recycling Effort.

People are taking items from the bin!
Fear not! It is the effort we are concerned with; so long things gets recycled/ reused, our objective is reached!

People are stealing the bins!
The bins are carved with secret logos; moreover photographs of the bins have been taken. If the bins are really stolen, a note will be made to the police!

Join in the effort now~!!!

...

Some Updates

2008-07-06T17:44:00.002+08:00

Here are some updates/ back log!

Egg Cake! 鸡蛋糕！

We all LoVe Hearts dun we?

Powerful Macro =D

Oh these are not shellfish, rather they are your everyday blood clam! Those that you add to your laksa! However, do note, they are fist size! Blood clam this big can only be seen in korea, one of the fishing province. Alas, Singapore has them too! If you wanna know where i got these blood clam, drop me a pm! Highly classified!

Your enlarged everyday blood clam!

Close up!

Oh Mum knows best! I LoVe keeping my room dust free and clean (my place is really dusty actually >_>) Hence she got me this powerful microfiber wiper gloves! Really useful at the price of $5 =D Cute also!

Mr Mircofiber

Fiberrrrrrr Power!

Rawr!

Anyway! That is all folks =P

...

#$@#$@ Bdae Wishlist

2008-06-30T21:48:00.004+08:00

Okai, as per requested, thy shall update and put my wishlist in priority order >_> and make the text bigger and more readable =.0

BDAE CARDS! $0-$?
Puma watch $255
Crocodile Cotton Cardigan 2008 Collections $119 size: S
iphone $200+? (many mention it will come to sg at this price? i wish doh =D)
PSP Black Slim $300+
Porter Int Diamond Sling Bag $??? size: S
Issey Miyake Pour Homme $105+
More Ikea Quilt Cover Set $79 (ard there, those 200*200cm ones =D)
More Fred Perry (fake from penisula also can)/ Crocodile/ Cotton On Tee/ $ Price unknown for first two $30 @ 2 for Cotton On size: 2 (So long got lining design at collar and sleeves)
More Berms/ Hotpants $30+ size: 28waist 32hip
More g2000blu Basic Tees $23 @ 2 size: S
More g2000 Wrinkle Free Business Shirt $30-50+ size: 14.5
More Printed Tees $20+
Braziliano Praia $49.90 size: 8
Green Moleskin Plain Pages $15 size: M
Muji Facial Oil and Toner $19-25 Sensitive/ Oily skin

Either way, some short notes for the day!

Went swimming at CDANS, got tanned, and was splashing water at birds bathing by the pool =D

Watched Zohan with bro at Lot1 cinema, theatre was empty, there goes us blasting out ring tone, and shouting =D

Crazy day ^_^'

...

Tire

2008-06-28T22:40:00.004+08:00

I am not sure how many would agree with me; living in Singapore is getting boring, boring and more boring. I found myself waking up, attending to my mundane chores, followed by hanging around the house not knowing what to do.

I do have a life! Thanks mama for asking me to help her prepare some dish! Thanks myself for making me practise my kanas, and penning down my thought. Apologies to my Feten; i promise i will bring you out some day :P Thanks to pals and frens who are there for me (doh you guys aint always around, am still glad and happy with that occasional pop-hi).

Nonetheless, would you be sastified with life of heading to town, random walking, random cafe-ing? Not forgetting to mention, random shopping, random oogling at eye candies.

Perhaps it is not the fault of this little island; i ought to get engaged in some weekend activities, or get a real time bf/ gf to spend my time with. However, we have to agree that we are too small, and there aint enough quality entertainment? There ought to be some, but they are definitely too expensive for anyone to afford/ indulge.

This very moment, as i am rounding up this entry, am feeling really empty. Here are the days again, where i woke up not knowing what to do, not knowing what i want in life, not knowing what is the point of life.

Empty, empty, empty. It is really interesting how i can stay positive so just bring a smile to others.

For e.g. Terry San bought a overpriced carpet in Dubai, but alas i was able to tell him, well look past that, since what done cant be reversed, why not look forward to how nice it will be when it is in ya house?

For e.g. a fren of mine was feeling jaded after some rs rejection. There he was like the past me, feeling emo and feeling sad. I was able to tell him, there ought to be a point where your heart is so damaged and killed that you will no longer feel the pain, and will move on.

Lol, i am not sure if that was exactly how i felt, but my heart felt really dead, so dead that it has problem sensing LoVe. Perhaps i am not swept off my feet as yet? lol shrugs.

Anyway, nowadays i really fear sleeping. I really hate the feeling when i close my eyes, feeling disconnected with the World, feeling really empty. Sigh Sigh Qi is not feeling well again.

...

Bdae Wishlist

2008-06-24T22:12:00.025+08:00

Finally got my arse moving, putting up my Bdae wishlist.

Some facts:
::My Bdae is on the 30th July 1986 (question yerself! did you read the fero tab? !@#!#!$)

::You can get me all sorts of expensive gifts (yes i will thank you). However if you did not get me a Bdae card (with some personal touches) along with that gift, i wont be happy at all T.T.

::Saying that, yes, i have a fetish to collect Bdae cards.

::And yes, getting me a card is all you need, cos i do not really need anyone to get me posh/ even buy me stuff :P

The List (go to the raid it tab for the pics!)

Puma watch $255
PSP Black Slim $300+
Crocodile Cotton Cardigan 2008 Collections $119 size: S
iphone $200+?, many mention it will come to sg at this price? i wish doh =D
Porter Int Diamond Sling Bag $??? size: S
Issey Miyake Pour Homme $105+
Green Moleskin Plain Pages $15 size: M
Braziliano Praia $49.90 size: 8
Muji Facial Oil and Toner $19-25 Sensitive/ Oily skin
More g2000blu Basic Tees $23 @ 2 size: S
More g2000 Wrinkle Free Business Shirt $30-50+ size: 14.5
More Berms/ Hotpants $30+ size: 28waist 32hip
More Printed Tees $20+
BDAE CARDS! $0-$?
More Ikea Quilt Cover Set ($79, ard there, those 200*200cm ones =D)

That is all folks! And please, do not feel obliged to buy me anything. If i know that you are not some rich bastards, and yet you buy me some really expensive stuff, i will be really sad and dissapointed T.T

Give me a Bdae card, give me a hug, jus ask me out for dinner; the intention is what i appreciate!

Arigatous!

...

updates

2008-06-24T21:41:00.007+08:00

Cam whoring first always!! Cam whore cam whore cam whore!

Cam what?....WHORE!

Time for some updates!!! Was saying that my vintage POSB card chipped T.T Curse you! That short clothe hanger at Lot1 Giordano fitting room zzz. Now my since-primary-school-cum-my-first-ever-card is to rest in peace. Emo le T.T

i LoVe You always T.T

Nonetheless, say hi^^ to Miss Sharp! She jus brings life, and peace (my bro and mum's constant struggle over the TV, and my parents mundane ranting at unstriked 4D results -.-) to the family.

Miss Sharp!

Sharppppppppppp!

Dad is scandalous -.-

Anyway okie dokie! That is all for the updates, outta move on to post on my Bdae wish list :P licky licky!

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Updates

2008-06-23T23:15:00.002+08:00

Alot have happened over this short period of time. Those whom was there, am grateful, those whom are not, i take the doubt that you are tied down with something.

Alas, thanks Terry and Chris San, for all the going out and eating at atas >_> yet cheap place =D Pepperoni @ Greenwood, HardRock @ Orchard!

Also thank you great peeps for all the stuff and the jappy course =D

Arigatou Gozaimus!

Anyway.... i will put up my Bdae wishlist soon IF I HAVE the time >_> alas, am hoping to get it up tml. Nonetheless, most of the stuff are already bought by Terry and Chris San =D Sei sei sei! An Italian will say it, there are still stuff to be bought! muhahaha.

Fero is currently feeling happy, yappy, and somewhat glee. However there is still a great level of sightatious. For the better i guess, will update more tml!

Cheers

...

Empty

2008-06-20T20:44:00.003+08:00

Not sure why. But my heart felt empty. There is this sadness and grief somewhere deep down. I can feel it exactly, but than, i can only grasp it vividly. I have tried looking, hoping to discover what is it that is bothering me exactly, so i can render a remedy. Alas the search was futile...

My heart felt so dead. I am finding it hard to LoVe again. Is it damaged too much?

Empty...

...

A nice song to share =D

2008-06-17T23:50:00.010+08:00

Hijacked from Dan's Blog (not to be disclosed: as requested :P)

歌名 ﹕ 伯乐
歌手 ﹕ 林宥嘉

This song was intro-ed by a good pal of mine! The MTV is really touching/ romantic/ sad. Imagine being the guardian angel for someone, helping him/her choose which guys is the best, and eventually seeing him/her go one day...yet you never told him/her how much you LoVed him/her actually...

伯乐 has got a very literature meaning; it was a term derived from a ancient saint, and his relationship with a horse. His admiration, appreciation, and encouragement ultimately let this looked-down upon horse emerge as pedigree one fine day.

In modern times, 伯乐 is used to describe that very special person whom you appreciates, and whom you have feelings for. Hence 我是你的伯乐。。。

Since it is such a nice song, thy shall put down The Call::Regina Spektor::Narnia Ending Theme for a while, so everyone can appreciate this great song :P

冠軍 - 超級星光大道起家的林宥嘉。
總於出傳輯了。
有瞭亮 ﹐感性的雄厚的嗓子 ﹐
成功地述說一個情人對剛分手的衷心感謝和對感情的不捨。
對這首歌超情有獨鐘 !

伯乐

爱你的那一个伤你的那一个
谁才是你爱情中的伯乐
放弃了这一个然后等待着下一个
最后哪一个让你最舍不得
感谢不能让别人来说
你给过我的她们是做不到的
那时候的幸福是真的虽然过去了
我们也都经历了
释怀教育着仇恨和平劝着天下人
故事发生便住下了不管好的坏的
你让我成长了就算是痛得值得
爱你的那一个伤你的那一个
谁才是你爱情中的伯乐
放弃了这一个然后等待着下一个
一个个过客过得快不快乐
爱你的那一个伤你的那一个
谁才是你爱情中的伯乐
放弃了这一个然后等待着下一个
别太多过客祝你早日快乐
离开时别忘了看看眼前的人
流泪记住了还是微笑祝福着

...

Bdae Wishlist (shrugs), Braziliano Praia!, Jus Jogged

2008-06-16T21:45:00.010+08:00

For those who know when my Bdae is good for you! For those who dun... awww too bad =D And unless you are gonna get me something, than dun bother to ask! LOL.

No, dun misjudge me. I am not a materialistic fart-tart! Those whom truly know me, i have never gotten expensive gifts/ presents from my peers or acquaintance. I only get expensive stuff from my dear, and or family members =) or those who can really afford it/ and or force me to accept -.-

Yes, do misjudge me. I am a sentimental fart- tart! Get me a LV bag without a personalize Bdae card, you will see me roar, scratch, and bite you =D and no, i am not joking... i meant it -.-

Bdae (22nd) is jus round the cornor! And damn! I am gonna ORD prior to my Bdae... this only means that i cant chop my bosses and those meanies colleagues carrot head! Damn x 3!!!

And yes, am thinking if i should be celebrating it with a bang, like when i am attached, or should i celebrate it like Bdae (21st), sleeping pass it. Well if you guys wanna date me out, do let me know ok! And and and, that actual Bdae, Bdae, is saved for either myself, or my family, so dun go vie who gets to go out with me on my Bdae!

Oh, please give me a few days as i come up with my Bdae wishlist! IMHO, it is a totally shrugs list. However there are pressure from friends (gun point -.-) asking me to fix one, so they wont end up buying random useless stuff :P

Braziliano Praia! My eyes lit-up when i shopped-by NUM at Cineleisure; I finally found that particular cutting of sandals i have been looking for! Immediately, i danced into the shop and demanded for the black footing, white base, BP to be fitted on me! It felt jus like Carrie Bradshaw as she set eyes on that perfect shoe! Yes... that perfect shoe =D...

After paying ($49.90 with a T.T), i could not resist but to chuck away my old one (now, gardening flip-flops) and put on the BP immediately! I could not have felt happier, and 38-er! So there goes the glee little me (yea! i get happy easily), dancing along the streets in my new BP! And and and, i was so about to get myself a Coke Light, so i can float like Sarah Jessica Parker =D

BP! BP! BP! Imma buy more BP! of different color!

Jus jogged. Went jogging today! Kinda a boring nite; the park connector is so dead, and am jus feeling empty. Prolly the upcoming interview is bothering me, but alas, it is part and parcel of life i guess =D

Or was i bothered by the perfect loafers which i failed to get from pedro? Bah if i pass the interview, imma gonna get it! Muhahahaha :P

I prefer the darker tone one i think =D Be mine soon please!

...

can i get used to it?

2008-06-14T10:13:00.004+08:00

The day when i no longer have the rights is going to come soon. Can i get used to it? I guess not, but alas, do i have a choice? I musnt be selfish...

失去专利权的那一天很快就会绛令。我会习惯吗？我猜想应该不会。。。可是我别无选着，我不能自恃。。。

...

Stable.

2008-06-13T20:09:00.003+08:00

Going out in a while, to meet Terry san and his fren Dan san. Prolly gonna chill out a little and chat abt the job that i am seeing to take up =P.

tsk tsk, keeping it as a secret for now! Too much of getting around simply spoils the good things! Don't you agree?

I am feeling much better already. I have to get back up quick and strong i guess, i must not be so selfish i guess. Oh well, let nature takes its own course.

Well gotta get dressed! ciao!!

多一会儿我就得往市区跑一趟。
今晚约了Terry & Dan san唱迎一杯
顺便谈谈我新工作的事！

什么工作？
哈哈！不好意识咯！必须保密！

哦，还有。
我的心情好多了！
请别担心！

我得赶快站起来！
我得坚强！
我想我不能自私吧。。。

嗨

...

I am not ok

2008-06-11T23:47:00.005+08:00

When i blog at such odd hour, it only means that i am not ok.

When i blog with such fragmented and short sentences, it only means that i am not ok.

I hate my past, and bull to all those happy memories which i should treasure. They are nothing of aid, in relieving me of the pain that is eating me inside out right now.

I hate being alone.

Randomly here are jus some short notes that i ought to pen down, before the sane me is all lost. Pardon me, i jus need to keep my mind bothered with things, so that it wont set itself on the thinking mode.

LoVe is not about finding the perfect one to LoVe, but it is about knowing how to LoVe someone imperfect, perfectly.

Relationship is not always about hoping to get something out of it at the end of the day, but it is about being there for that special someone, rain or shine. Being there when he needs you, and being there behind him supporting him silently.

If time can revert, i really wished that i can be there for you. No matter where you go to, in this world, i jus want to be by ya side. By ya side, i want to man this little house for you, this little warm and comfortable home, which you can come home to every night. By ya side, i want to let you know that, i will always be here for you, rain or shine, woe or glee, i will always be here to give you a big hug, support, and LoVe.

End of the day, even if i have to walk out of this as if i was only a passer-by, i will tell myself to be happy. Be it seeing you from afar, so long that i know you are happy, no matter what, i will try to be happy, be happy for you the very least, the very way i know you have wanted me to be.

We both bumped into the harsh fact, but the very least, i will pull myself together very quickly, so that i can be there to support you. I will bear all the pain for you, i will bear all the sadness for you, i will bear all the storm for you, so jus we can make it pass this gloomy period, and see that rainbow that lits a smile on ya face, and our lifes.

This is going to be a very long marathon. Alas i will never let you fall behind, i will never let you slow down, nor will i let us take a break. For i know, when you fall, or when you are tire and needs a break, i will be there to carry you, and continue our journey towards the never ending storyline.

No matter what it may be, you know that i will always be there waiting for you. In that white pure robe, i will be there, that very place that we know we will be.

No matter what it may be, you know that i am always jus around you. You jus need to call my name, and i will fly to your side immediately.

No matter what it may be, you know that you will always be here, in a special place in my heart.

No matter what it may be, you know that you are always welcomed here.

Am here always :)

LoVe is silly. That is why we does silly things when we are in LoVe.

LoVe is special. That is why i always typed it L-o-V-e.

i for me is always small, that is because You in my heart, takes a bigger more significant place.

i know you are the one, for when i loses you in a crowd i get worried and becomes frantic.
i know you are the one, for when i am with you, i become warm, blushy, and uneasy.
i know you are the one, for when i see you feeling unwell, my heart breaks a thousand times.
i know you are the one, for when i hear your need for me, i blame myself for not having wings.
i know you are the one, for when i am here typing all these silly, and racking my brain to pen down more.
i know you are the one...

Bah i dun dare to fall asleep, my heart hurts.

Fero is not feeling well....

...

Depressed once again.

2008-06-10T14:54:00.007+08:00

Am feeling depressed once again. Also i have forgotten to take my evening primrose in the morning (evening primrose is a name as a whole <_<).

I hate distance, be it displacement kind, distance-distance kind, or emotional, and even physical kind.

I hate loneliness.

What a bad start for a blog ~.~

...

Moody. Argh. SOB. My Primrose.

2008-06-09T21:39:00.005+08:00

I experience shortness of breath (SOB) when i get moody. I can't breath well and suffers from this suffocating feeling (literally) when i am moody. I realised evening primose oil keeps my mood elevated, or keeps me thinking positive at least.

Sigh why am i always tormented so badly always? Is this my retribution?

...

Some back log

2008-06-09T15:55:00.022+08:00

Got half a day off today! Hence i took the effort and time to actually start clearing the clutter(s) in my room. Laid my hands on the computer desk side cupboard today; i dare not mention that is was a fruitful clearing, as there are all these small little items (like cable tie, half tube UHU glue, small badge, etc etc) that i can't bear to throw >_> i mean hey! you never know when they will come in handy! :P

Alas, was doing some clearing of files from my computer; compacting folders of picture of those whom have past on in my life, and deleting of pictures.

Here are some design/ doodle/ old photos to share with you peeps :P do have a good laugh if any tickled yer' funny bones!

My always idiotic+ irritatin brother

These pics are from Nee Phoi/ GardenAsia

Doodle from poly (5 yrs ago)

More doodle

My first blog

2nd blog

...

rice dumpling! with licky =P

2008-06-08T12:06:00.018+08:00

Woke up to a lazy morning taking a growl from my tummy >_>. Am home alone! as my parents went to have fun on their own, while my brother went partying (he parties 24/7 -.---> LOOK! someone is dancing by the trees with the Bangalas!).

Ringed up my folks, thinking that they will be oh-so-kind to buy brunch for me; i was told to heat up the rice dumplings.

!@#!#@ Only if my Ba Zhangs are as big as the one in the pic, or has 3 licky at least!
Either way, the Zhangs have evolved over the years! From the norm 5 spice Sam-Cham-Buk and the alkali Zhangs; they now includes abalone, bird nest, etc etc. Crystal jade even came up with the unique western kind of dumpling!

They are seriously 4/5 licky! However i have to mention, they are not for the sweet tooth. My Mum find it funny tasting, but that is because the older generation never liked sweet Zhangs? Even if the Zhangs have to be taken sweet, it have to be tagged with the alkali taste.

Still no dumpling can escape the fate of being microwave! Never Never microwave ya rice dumplings >_> they will jus explode! Steaming them is the best way!

Either way, am jus blogging for the sake of blogging =P too lazy to move my arse and tidy up my room LOL.

...

welcome

2008-06-07T23:32:00.007+08:00

a great welcome to those passing by =)

been a while since i last wrote, and post my photographs here.

finally decided to pull myself out of those painful heaps of memories, and start life afresh.

this blog is nothing more than a space for my cam whoring, random thoughts, artwork, and photographs.

footnote: am a really random person.

alas, wait up for more of my posting =.0

Cheerios,
Fero