Sunday, July 13, 2008
10:22 PM
I can still recall the good old times when my ex and i celebrated each other's Bdae. Somehow when we were younger, we made Bdae seems like it is the biggest event in one's life ever! Sorry mate, you celebrates it every year -.-
The roses, that perfect gift that i have always yearned for (and yea no gift can ever be perfect! :P), the memorable dinner, that holding of hands, the Bdae song, and the countdown.
Somehow as people age, Bdae becomes mundane doesn't it? Speaking from what i have experienced this week, celebrating KH Bdae, and seeing how Terry San celebrates Chris San Bdae; subtlely i saw my Bdae celebration when i am all old and grey.
Jus a simple gift, a simple meal, a simple hug, a simple card. What is more impt is the thought and intention, blessing and sincerity that comes with it isn't it?
Arcanic i am, life is pretty much a string of mundane chores. We live for we want to earn money, and we want to earn money because we want to survive. Like what a food stall owner would put it: "our mouth stops as our hands stops, we have got mouths to feed not back home! But right here at the stall, we have to first feed ourselves..."
Vexed i am, my heart, my soul and my mind lost steer of this cast. I am ORD-ing i should be happy shouldn't i? Alas am vexed by what i really want to do when i am a civilian once again.
Family is screwed up at the moment, and i am pretty sure the only way to make it right is money. Not that we are money minded, but i strongly believes that my parents had have enough hardship, and i want to give them a better life. I only hope that my Brother wakes up his idea soon, and help me alongside =D *grabs a baseball bat*
LoVe seems ideal, but nothing is sure for now. Trust is a gem of mine, to LoVe someone ever again, it would take a great deal of effort, personal space, and understanding. Afterall i am a beacon lost in this great abyss wandering alone for eons.
Bleahz Fero is feeling confused, signing out =D
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