Thursday, October 30, 2008
9:24 PM
After so many failed rs, it somehow appeared to me that my LoVe Model was rather childhoodly, and fairy tale like. Those promises that couples make, the sweet words and holding of hands, the swinging of the locked pinkies, those smiles, those sweet kisses, those sweet nose rubbing.
Momentary and transient they are always there in a rs, but alas how many actually see through to a till-hair-grows-white-all-that-matters-in-my-World-is-you kind of rs? Whenever i sucked out
(or we both sucked out; i mean a rs is always about 2 person no?) in a rs, i will feel down. But thereafter,
i would look at my parents; for they really give me inspiration about monogamy, being together till we age, and my World has only you, kind of imagery.
However, it was somehow resonated to me that, perhaps a decade ago, all the above were still possible. Now, i would dare, dream on.
Looking at how my close friends have their rs, mine was really fairy tale, and childhood like in comparison.
I mean who would be so concerned with sms-ing each other every morning, everytime it is meal time, everytime when one gets home, and simply, everytime when one misses the other so madly?
I do, it is all about symbolizing the wanting to live together, wanting to grow old together.
Sweet memories, will always be memories. Now that i see you all stressed up, and bothered, i know
i no longer have the right.
I have lost the right to be by you,
i have lost the rights to take care of You (not that you cant take care of yourself, but i mean it is something i really wanna do),
i have lost the rights to remain faithful, and monogamous for you.
Rights in a relationship; when one decides to cut his end, unknowingly, he cuts the end that does not belong to him; and also he never realise that that end he cut, was once so dear to him...Tears, alot of tears have been shed. But remember all that i have msged/ tell you in person? All that matters is to see you happy, and that, be it if am the one making you happy, or if am physically there sharing your happiness; so long i can see you smiling from afar, i would be happy too.
Anyway, here a song for you,
not sure if it is all correct, but the melancholy depicts me....
